


Not remotely edible

by notveryhandy



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23775463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notveryhandy/pseuds/notveryhandy
Summary: Rose thinks Adam’s annoying, and the Doctor couldn’t agree more.His methods of disposal are questionable, though.
Kudos: 10





	Not remotely edible

Rose looked at the Doctor, and the Doctor looked at Rose. It was either one of those moments of mutual understanding, or possibly the Doctor was just looking at her new haircut.

Which was fair enough. It was pretty cool. “So Doctor,” she hissed, “you gonna stop the man-eating shark-tiger hybrid or what?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he said breezily. “I might just redirect it.”

“Are you not, uh, worried?”

Rose was not worried. She was incredibly panicked, which was clearly different to bring _worried._

“Well, it’s a man-eating shark-tiger hybrid, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” God, that thing needed a catchier name. “Can we just call it the shiger or something.”

“Yeah, I bet the _shiger_ would love that.”  
  


“This isn’t about the shiger! It’s about the fact that we’re about to be _eaten!_ ”

“Are we?” The Doctor looked mildly confused. “Hm. You’re right, that sounds like a rather tasteless way to go.”

“It’s man-eating! Man! Eating!”

“Exactly! You’re not a man, and not am I, and I’m _certainly_ not human. If anyone needs to worry, it’s Adam, isn’t it?”

Rose sniffed, and leaned against the wall. “It’s an expression.”

“Right...”

Rose waited.

“...oh.”

Boom. Rose looked at the Doctor, again, and waited for him to act.

“Okay, could you grab Adam from the other room?”

“Why?” asked Rose. “What's he done?”

“Well, he’s annoying and I want to get rid of him.”

“So how are you going to do that?”

“Man-eating shiger. Rassilon, I hate that name.”

Rose didn’t want to know who/what Rassilon was, so she just nodded. It felt like the right thing to do.

“So it just wants to eat us? I’m not even remotely edible.” the Doctor asked, as clarification.

Rose glared at him. “Yes. Oh, and you’re dodging the question.”

“Right. Getting rid of Adam. We feed him to the shiger, obviously.”

Rose groaned. “Doctor, no.”

“But-”

“ _No._ ”

And, unfortunately, Adam Mitchell was not eaten by the badly-but-accurately named man-eating shiger.

 _Sad times_ , the Doctor thought, _sad times._


End file.
